If Beth Sharma Gregory had waited for the right time to make a big move, she would be in her California home with her first husband and four biological children. Instead, Gregory embraced a challenge that set into motion the birth of a completely new family structure, a long-distance move, and the acceptance that she was on a path to empowering others to take a leap of faith.
“In 2012, I was living in California with my family. My marriage had hit a rough patch, but we had four children, and leaving never really seemed like an option,” Gregory said. “I’m a loyal person, and never want to be the one to give up on someone. We were going to stick it out and make the best of it.”
Part of making the best of her situation included finding a community where she helped others become the best women and mothers they could be. She became a mentor to young moms, eventually leading an empowerment group through a local church.
One day, the group received a request. Veronica*, a teen from church, was facing homelessness unless someone stepped up. Gregory looked around at the affluent women in her network, and watched each insist that what they had to offer couldn’t be enough for a girl who had lost everything. She thought of her small, crowded, and sometimes contentious home and knew that noisy was better than nothing.
“I thought, I have four kids. What’s one more?” Gregory said. “A bed and a sandwich…I can’t do much but I can do that.”
Gregory began the process of obtaining licensing to foster. Her approval required her to move into larger accommodations, and the lines of questioning soon
became suspicious.
“I realized they weren’t just asking me about Veronica,” Gregory said. “They were marking boxes that said that I was an expert on teens, on troubled youth, on trauma.”
Once Gregory had demonstrated her seemingly infinite capacity for caring, the agency began directing more children in need of such compassion to her home. Gregory soon found herself opening her life to other people who were finding her—additional foster kids, her children’s friends, and more. Her house became a haven to many people, even as it started feeling less like the home she had always known.
“I didn’t think I was going to be a foster parent. It wasn’t in my life plan, but once Veronica was in our life, a lot of things shifted,” Gregory said. “The doorbell would ring and my kids would jump up and ask if they were getting another new sibling today. They would come home from school and ask if one of their classmates could come stay with us. It wasn’t uncommon to realize there was just an extra kid at the table, or wake up with someone sleeping on the couch. We became this safe landing space, and I wanted to do more.”
“My marriage came to an end, and as a newly single mother, I packed seven children up and moved to Nebraska,” Gregory said. “This time, we were all getting a new start.”
Gregory wasn’t running away from the life they had in California, she was running toward the next step in her foster journey.
“These kids are facing things that most adults cannot fathom,” Gregory said. “They’re being told that they’re never going to find placement, never going to have a family. Once you see how they’re being discarded, it’s a lot easier to understand why these kids are so angry with life, with their biological parents, with the system. I want a new system, even if I have to build it.”
These teens face grim statistics, showing a clearer picture of what feels like an inevitable future. On the male side, 60% who age out of the system or seek emancipation are convicted of criminal activity. Of the females, 70% who age out are mothers before their 21st birthdays. The school dropout rate is also high—25% do not graduate high school or seek a GED. But if it’s possible that innocent children could be facing these odds, Gregory wondered what else could be possible if she focused on the wins and proved that there was a different way.
Gregory realized that the very first day with Veronica that she wasn’t the one to stand up because she was the one with the most abundant life to share. Nobody else stepped up because with a need this great, it’s hard to see what you have as “enough.” What was needed to make a change wasn’t more money, only more patience, love, and faith in what could be.
Gregory pooled her network and, in 2019, launched Fostering by Heart; an organization that helps create new opportunities for those who’ve had their “possible” taken away.
Her former lifestyle coach, Molly Mahoney, shares what she sees as Gregory’s super power that makes Fostering by Heart a success:
“Beth’s mantra has always been 'It’s possible.' That simple, but that powerful,” Mahoney said. “And it’s not just what she’s managed to do with all of her young people, it’s everyone on her team. She has this unique ability to see potential, and to really focus on only that. What can you be great at?”
Mahoney continued, “All it takes is a conversation with Beth to feel inspired. Her faith in what’s possible. It’s what allows real magic to happen. She shows me every day that fierce love isn’t about trying to help everyone. It’s about loving this one person you have in front of you. Everyone who knows her is better for having experienced that intensity, and is able to believe in the difference they can make by simply standing up and saying yes.”
*Name has been changed to protect anonymity.
To learn more, donate, or volunteer with Fostering by Heart, visit facebook.com/fosteringbyheart.
This article was printed in the November/December 2020 edition of Omaha Magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.
