Feeling Gravity’s Pull?

You may have already surmised that you are, in fact, getting older. Some of the indicators can be obvious: It takes you two or six tries to get up from the couch; parts of your body seem to be sloughing off like waterlogged loess. In broad terms: You’ve noticed that gravity has become your enemy.

But some signs can be quite subtle. So, to help things out, we’ve pieced together a profoundly serious checklist to help you gauge whether you are, in fact, just maybe, beginning to age a bit.

You know you’re 60 plus when…r

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• You’ve actually driven to Hebron to see the World’s Largest Porch Swing.

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• “Happy Hour” is a nap.

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• You expect to see farm fields when you drive west of 72nd Street.

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• You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.

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• Your address book has mostly names that start with “Dr.”

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• You remember when the College World Series was held somewhere other than Omaha.

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• And you enjoy saying things like, “I remember when the College World Series was held somewhere else.”

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• You send money to PBS after watching “Antiques Roadshow.”

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• You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

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• You still have a rotary dial, landline telephone.

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• You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

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• You still write letters to the editor of the local newspaper.

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• You remember who Zorinsky Lake is named after.

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• You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

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• You enjoy hearing about other people’s surgical operations.

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• You coached anyone who is now in a hall of fame.

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• You have a ticket stub from a concert at Peony Park.

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• You know what an IBM Selectric is.

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• Neighbors borrow your tools.

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• You miss the chicken at Rose Lodge, brunch at the Golden Apple, and hanging out at Tiner’s Drive-In on Dodge.

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• You consider a stroll through Memorial Park to be a day hike.

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• You’ve actually ridden on a real streetcar in Omaha.

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• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

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• You’re proud of your lawn mower.

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• You remember when Saturday afternoon shopping at Brandeis was a dress-up affair.

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