My kids have nicer phones than me. They also have more rules to follow.

Quite frankly if it weren’t for the Bluetooth that plays my music and podcasts in the car, I think I could live with a flip phone.

“But why, Mom? Why would you even think of something so horrific?”

Suddenly the simplicity of not letting my phone be the only thing I see all day sounds delightful. But the kids don’t hear me respond, they’re busy checking texts and Clash of Clans. Whatever that is.

My kids are staring at their phones because they’ve been watching me do it for years.

How many times has little Bobby asked you a question and you actually uttered the words, “I dunno, honey. Let’s Google it.” Or how many times have you actually told your kid to hold that thought or temper tantrum because you’re reading your high school science lab partner’s updated status about her dog’s very funny howling? I mean, hold on kid, this dog actually sounds like he’s talking!

From the minute we handed the kids a phone, Chris and I established very responsible rules for them. It seems that maybe my kids Googled how to bend said rules. So, I made some more.

“Look, if you’re going to find a way around my rules, then I’m just going to make more rules. You cool with that?”

And before either can answer, I shove a homemade chocolate peanut butter cookie (I found the recipe on Pinterest) in their faces and text them a bunch of cheery emoticons.

And so it seems with every IOS upgrade, we upgrade and refresh our family cell phone rules—for both the kids and adults. But if you can’t beat them, play their game better. I text the kids their chores list.