The Big Move-In
Mar 25, 2013 11:49AM
By Mary Quinn
Before even beginning the home hunt, ask yourself if this is something you truly want. If you feel unsure or pressured, now is the time to speak up. Do not use moving in as an excuse to save an already troubled relationship. Think on it for a few weeks, or even a few months, if you can. Make sure you both legitimately enjoy each others' company and have as many overnights as possible so he gets used to your natural beauty (i.e., sans makeup), and you get used to his cleaning rituals—or lack thereof.
As Laura Drucker for The Daily Muse puts it, "It's okay to feel scared—big changes can potentially equal big disasters," but if you two are in a serious, committed relationship, cohabitation may allow you two to continue your life together and get to know each other on a newer, deeper level.
Consolidating Your Inventories
Downsizing your own inventory first will help you to decide what stays and what goes. Maybe it’s time to let go of the 20 socks with no mates (even though the plaid one is super cute), or the coffee maker since you're a tea drinker now. This could even be a lucrative decision, as lightly worn clothing or older, unmatched furniture can easily be sold on Ebay or Craigslist. Next, make a list of everything you are moving with and everything else you are putting into storage. When consolidating the big items, choose the newer, nicer pieces. Rosemary Brennan's “5 Conversations You Must Have Before Moving In Together” in Glamour suggests, "keeping the most comfortable bed, better television, and newer living room furniture."
The distribution of bills and chores is incredibly important. First, it helps if both of you are financially stable with steady incomes. Split bills down the middle if you make about the same, or split them based on ratio if one of you has a higher-paying position than the other. Have a sit-down before signing the lease to discuss chores, scheduling, budgeting, and even who is (and is not) allowed over when one of you is not home. Starting with a plan you can actually stick to will help soften the blow when these issues arise in the future.
Communication is Key
Know how to argue successfully with your partner without being hurtful. Make sure there is a definite end to an argument, and, most importantly, a resolution. This is when Mom's advice on knowing when to pick your battles really starts coming into play. Be open to compromise. For example, agree to keep his shot glass collection in exchange for more room in the closet. Be diplomatic, not demanding about what stays and what goes. By making the effort, the process of you and your partner moving in together will be easier and more successful.